Louder than Actions
by GoldenMoonshine
Summary: It was moments like these that Edward cherished dearly; moments that could not be expressed in words. Oneshot for Christmas. Yaoi, RoyEd.


**Okay, guys. I don't know how much I'll be around late, so I'm putting this up in advance. I don't own FMA, as you know. :D**

**I wanted to put this up, but I wasn't sure when. But it's up today, so that's all that matters. Enjoy it, 'cause I've been working nonstop on it all day.**

**Merry Christmas, everyone!**

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Edward Elric sat next to the fireplace in his home, reading a letter that had ended up in his mail. It was an invitation to the annual Christmas Party that the Military held every year. Normally, Edward went with Alphonse.

But this year was different.

The blond felt tears well up behind his eyes as his nose started to burn, but he quickly fought off the urge to cry with a sniffle. For Edward, the day of the party marked a horrible memory.

On the 23rd of December at the party last year, Alphonse Elric had gone into cardiac arrest and passed away the next morning. What made it even worse, it hadn't even been that long since the blond had restored his body. Glaring angrily at the innocent notice, Edward tossed it into the fire as his unshed tears won out and started to fall.

Edward knew tears were useless. Roy Mustang had taken the duty of cruelly reminding Ed of that only a few days after the death of the younger Elric. Edward had tried to end his life several times after this, hopelessly trying to get back to his brother. And each attempt was broken by the same bastard that had been so cruel to him many times before...

Edward sighed and got up, moving over to stand by the window. It was colder there, but the blond didn't seem to care. He heaved a shaky sigh, turning away from the white landscape to walk to the Kitchen.

How many times had he and Alphonse had snowball fights during these white Christmases? Edward felt as if Alphonse had taken half of his soul with him that day. He didn't remember what it felt like to be truly happy anymore. Sure, he smiled when the time came for it. But how long had it been since it had been _real_?

He himself could not remember.

Sighing, he decided to make something to eat. Not that he wanted to. In fact, he felt very little desire towards the task since Alphonse's death. Sometimes, he'd go for weeks not eating. But when Roy started dropping in on him, he noticed that something was wrong. It hadn't taken the older man long to figure it out.

He had started making Edward something to eat every time he dropped in, whether the blond had eaten or not. And then he stayed to make sure that Edward did eat. Ed couldn't count the fights he had gotten into with the man over the simple chore of filling his stomach.

The knock of the door interrupted his task of searching as he stood. The man of his thoughts walked in, closing the door behind him and moving to hang his scarf up.

"Good afternoon, Edward." He greeted warmly. Edward merely stared at him with bleak interest, before returning to his task. The raven-headed male sighed and moved to take Edward's hand in his own. He pulled the blond back, gazing into his eyes.

Those gold eyes. They had used to hold such life. Now, it was only a shadow of the real thing. Others had noticed, but not said. Roy smiled then, a smile Edward felt wasn't true.

"I'm proud of you." He said quietly. Edward stiffened as the man pulled him into an embrace, then slowly relaxed. For that moment, he felt as if everything was okay again, and his heart felt light. It was moments like these that the blond cherished dearly; moments that could not be expressed in words.

But what was there to be proud about? Edward had done nothing to earn such praise. He hadn't been eating like he should have. He had been sleeping more than he should have. He hadn't even bothered to keep his own home looking presentable. The blond racked his brain, trying to bring forth a reason.

He could think of none.

Roy pulled away then, and the moment was over. Everything returned as it once was. Roy then tilted his head, seeing clearly the object of the blond's concern in his eyes.

"You haven't done anything bad towards yourself for a month now today. That's something to praise you for." He said kindly. Edward averted his gaze, moving to sit at the table. He didn't feel the same. He was angry at himself that he no longer pursued the sweet release of his life. He had nothing to live for, in his eyes. Why should this day mean something so happy to Roy when it meant such sadness to his own heart?

"But, it also marks the day of something you lost, as well." Edward knew exactly what the man spoke of this time. It had been a month since Edward had spoken.

Had it really been that long? Edward could no longer remember his last words. It wasn't that the blond didn't want to say something. But what was there to say? Nothing was really expressed with words anyhow, it seemed to the blond. Words were useless. What was that saying?

Oh, yes. Of course. Actions spoke louder than words. It was a simple phrase that held such depth and meaning, yet it was something of importance to Edward. The blond sighed wearily as Roy started fixing him something to eat.

"So have you received the party invitation yet?" Roy asked, trying to strike up meaningless conversation. Edward was about to nod, but then thought better of it and shook his head. Roy frowned. "Well...I could have sworn it'd come today. I'll save you one, then. You can help me surprise Riza. I'm going to be dressing Black Hayate up as an elf." Roy cracked a smirk and Edward just smiled.

"Well, anyways—hey, how does stew sound tonight for dinner? I mean, I was going to ask you earlier if you wanted to come over for some, but it's entirely up to you." Roy avoided the blond's gaze as he gathered some ingredients to make sandwiches. Edward frowned, but nodded.

Roy was inviting him for _stew_? The man hated stew! Why would he want to eat it if he didn't like it? It was a mystery that began plaguing Edward's mind, even after Roy moved to set the sandwich in front of him. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay...I'm really worried, Ed. Won't you at least say something so that I know you're listening?"

Edward took a bite out of the sandwich, appearing thoughtful. He then shrugged. Roy sighed balefully, before moving to clean up the mess he'd made. When had Edward resorted to all of this? The change in him had been so gradual, even Riza Hawkeye hadn't caught on until it was too late.

"Your birthday is next month, Ed. You'll be nineteen. I know you don't celebrate it...did you even remember?" Roy knew the blond held no interest in any holiday, really. The only occasion he did pay attention to was the day that he and Alphonse had attempted the forbidden. The day both of their lives changed forever. At that moment, Edward got up to move over to the sink. He then started the task of washing the dishes, only keeping an ear out to hear what Roy was doing.

The man retrieved one of Edward's hair ties from the counter, pulling the blond's hair into a simple ponytail. Edward normally held no desire to keep his hair up anymore, which was probably the biggest thing that anybody really noticed. Everyone missed the braid that made Edward's trademark appearance.

Roy cleared his throat, making sure he had Edward's attention before speaking. "I'm going now. Meet me at my place about six, okay? Make sure you wear your coat; it's very cold out today, and I assume the temperature will continue to drop until early tomorrow morning." He then nodded, taking his scarf and wrapping it about his neck.

Then, Edward was left alone again. Roy never did stay long. Heaving a sigh, Edward decided he would attempt to clean up a bit. Despite living out of a suitcase in his younger days, the blond had quite the clutter from his journeys now. He started with the living room, but ended up losing interest by the time he had finished the Kitchen. That was fine, though. His room never did need cleaning, and Al's room stayed how it was.

Al...

Edward sat back on the couch, gaze directed at the fireplace as if the object could help him. But no, nothing could. This, after all, would be the first Christmas he had ever spent without his younger brother. Edward got up, extinguishing the fire with the cup of water he had sitting on the window sill. He then went to go shower, deciding that it would be best if he did.

And true to his word, Edward found himself standing outside of Roy's apartment. He knocked once, before standing back to wait. A group of men were sitting down the hall, absorbed in a game of poker. Edward had never cared much for the game. He'd been better off playing chess with Roy.

Edward adjusted his scarf as the door opened, narrowed onyx eyes peering out at him. Roy made a sound of acknowledgment, opening the door further. "'Afternoon, Ed." He said, voice a bit strained. It almost sounded to Edward as if the Colonel had been drinking. But surely he wouldn't have! The man never drank when he invited him over! The blond nodded mutely, putting his coat on the coat rack as Roy shut the door behind him.

"If you want, there's something I have to show you first." Roy sniffed heavily, and Edward realized that Roy hadn't been drinking, but crying. Roy stopped to give the blond a confused look, before making his way towards his room. Edward paused, unsure whether to follow his commanding officer or not. Roy answered for him however. "Well? Coming or not?" He asked. Edward swallowed, heading towards the back of the apartment where Roy's bedroom was.

The man was perched on the end of the bed, holding a flat, wrapped box tightly. "I've been wondering about giving this to you, but now...I think I should." Roy stood then, holding it out. Edward took it carefully, staring at it's wrapping. It was wrapped in gold tissue paper; it had to be more than two layers to conceal what it was. The ribbon layering it though, was brown. Edward looked back up at Roy, a bit curious.

"I want you to open it tomorrow night at the party." Roy said firmly. Edward paused. He didn't want to say that he wouldn't go. But Roy obviously had it set in stone that the blond would show up. Was he using the fact that Edward wouldn't talk to his advantage? After some hesitation, the younger man nodded. He would go.

But only because Roy wanted him there. He had no desire whatsoever to be there by his own free will.

After sitting down to the rather uneventful dinner, Edward decided to head home. His dreams weren't exactly great that night, but at least they hadn't been nightmares. The blond usually had Alphonse to comfort him during nightmares. The most recent ones, however, left Edward yelling and crying, and having him end up praying to a God that he didn't believe in. A pitiful salvation, yes. But it was some form of comfort, and at this point, the blond was willing to take anything he could get.

The next day, Edward showed up at the party early exactly as Roy had instructed him to. He found the older man in the Events Room, holding a very anxious Black Hayate by the collar. Edward's brows raised as Roy came forwards with the dog.

"I told her that I would pick him up from the groomer," Roy said, growling in annoyance, "but he's not really in the Christmas spirit this year." Edward snorted. Funny, neither was he. Roy nodded towards one of the corners, and the blond followed him. It was there that Roy had Edward hold Black Hayate still as he attempted to wrestle a green vest onto the dog, albeit only half succeeding. He eventually did get the job done, and even Edward had to admit that the dog looked very...

Well, as handsome as a dog _could_ look.

Roy smirked at his handiwork. "Now to wait for the guests." He said cheerfully. Black Hayate barked, ears perking to attention as a few guests arrived. Among them, was Riza. Riza spotted Black Hayate almost immediately, moving over to the small group and giving Roy a sharp stare.

"Colonel Mustang," She said, frowning slightly, "Why did you dress Black Hayate up? I thought I told you not to." She said. Roy grinned.

"You know, I just couldn't help myself." Roy said innocently. He planted a pair of antlers on the dog's head, still keeping Riza's gaze. "But you've got to admit that he is one very dashing fellow in a vest." Edward moved away from the couple, starting to scout out the guests.

Havoc was trying to drag Breda into a shot drinking contest, Fuery was conversing with Falman, and even Sheska seemed to be in high spirits as she spoke to Second Lieutenant Ross, who was only half listening as she tried to fend off Sergeant Brosh. Everyone seemed to be busy and entertained.

Except him, that was...

Edward sighed, moving to stand on the balcony. The courtyard looked beautiful; snow had blanketed the ground overnight, and some of the officers had even decorated the area with colorful and flashing lights. It _was _pretty. But Edward couldn't help but feel angry that he had come. If Roy wanted to spend time with Riza, why had he bothered getting him to come? He could have been home right now, curled up on the couch with a nice book by the fire like he spent most nights.

He was brought out of his thoughts as Roy came to stand beside him. Edward looked at him questioningly, and the man chuckled. "Did you bring that gift?" He asked. Edward nodded, pulling the small wrapped item from his pocket. Roy nodded. "Go ahead and open it." He commanded. Edward hesitated. What could it be? Did he really _want _to open it at all? He then let out a sigh he had been holding in, before carefully unwrapping it.

"My...Roy..." Edward was speechless. It was the picture that he, Alphonse, and Roy had taken the year before at the party, just an hour before...

"Why?" He asked. He had completely forgotten about the pictures. And Alphonse looked so happy... Edward couldn't hold back the sob he held, and Roy moved to wrap his arms around the blond's shoulders.

"I kind of figured that you forgot about that...but I know that you would have wanted to have a happy memory of Alphonse instead of a sad one to remember him by. He may be gone Ed, but I'm sure that wherever he is, he's hoping that you'll get better and become happy." Edward didn't know what to say, so he just settled for a smile.

A true smile.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me, Mustang." Edward then returned the embrace, sniffing. After a moment, Roy pulled away. "There's...more." He said. Edward frowned. What could possibly be better than this? Roy swallowed, beginning to speak.

"I know you probably think I have this huge crush on Second Lieutenant Hawkeye," He started, "but, I've got something to confess to you, Edward." A blush crept over the usually smug face, and Edward felt his heart flutter. Could Roy...?

"The truth is, is that..." Roy seemed to pause, looking passed Edward. The blond turned, nearly jumping out of his skin to see the whole group of officers gathered around the door watching. Edward turned back to Roy, feeling a blush of his own warm his cheeks.

Roy gave a brief glance to the onlookers, before snorting humorlessly. "Aw, hell. You know what?" He asked, giving the crowd a smirk, "I love you, Edward." He then pulled the blond close, capturing his lips with his own. The onlookers cheered, some giggling shamelessly and some exchanging knowing looks.

But to Edward, it was like a dream. And in that instant, he felt—no, _knew_, that his heart had been saved. He pulled away from Roy, eyes shining with new life. And then, he whispered his reply:

"I love you too, Roy."

And those words, for once, _did _speak louder than actions.

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**Alrighty, tell me what you thought, guys!**


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